J starts animal camp tomorrow. I always go back and forth in my mind about these things... Should I show up early and sort of pave the way for him and the instructors, or just show up like everyone else, all the "normal" kids? He says he doesn't want interpreters... he really does, of course, during those moments when he wants to know where the instructor is saying to look for eastern box turtles... I got him interpreters. :) He even hesitantly wears his hearing aids! Ha! He says he wants to just talk, but we all need to sign. But, wait, you don't want interpreters... silly boy! I mostly, really, really hope the other kids don't treat him differently. J loves animals, and this camp has been the most talked about highlight of a summer yet. At almost 8, he's noticing that he's different, and that most people don't sign. This is one of the only parts of having Deaf kids that hurts my heart, and makes me wish they could hear. I suppose, however, if if it wasn't Deafness they were made fun of for, it would always be something else. All of us have something... and, we're all that much stronger after we learn to overcome it. On to camp, J!!

Just in case you needed another reason to sign with your D/HH kiddos... We got a boat! (Finally, my husband would say after 8+ years of waiting and searching, and waiting and searching...) Sign language is the obvious choice for those of us who can't hear without our hearing devices that can't get wet, and hence, don't go on the boat, but it's also great for communicating over the roar of the engine, wind, water, and/or stereo. Another point for ASL! :)

Oh, and by the way, L did flush a hearing aid down the toilet 2 days ago... Ugh ***head - desk***

Differences

I'm asked a few times a year aobut the differences in raising Deaf and Hearing children. I usually say something like, "Oh, it's pretty much the same", or "there's not much that's different". Sometimes I say something about "if I was already fluent in ASL, it would be exactly the same". That's not entirely true. While it would have been so much easier if I had known sign from the get-go, and had for whatever reason decided to raise all of my kids bilingually in English and sign, I was born and raised Hearing. That's different no matter which way you try and turn it. Deaf is a new culture and a new language, it's a little scary to me sometimes because my first and natural language and tendency is for sound and hearing. I'm learning to be more visual, and to understand that that's the primary way my kids are taking in the world. That said, it terrified me when L was 2 1/2 and she decided to crawl in a stuffed animal box in her closet for her nap. Long story short, we found her about 45 minutes after we didn't find her in bed where we had put her. The police and a search team got involved after we called 911 thinking she had left the house, wandered off, or worse... I kept telling them "she's deaf, and she's not wearing her hearing aids. You could be 10 feet away yelling for her and she wouldn't hear you!" Day to day, this lack of hearing has just been something to get used to. Our house has long since adjusted to finding a kid, or banging on a wall (lol) to get their attention when they're upstairs. We regularly wave a hand, stomp a foot, tap the table, etc before we sign/say something. So, it's a difference in mannerisms and culture that we've mostly had to adjust to. Oh, and learn a new language as adults. :) Recently, J (age 7 1/2) has had a few friends down the street come play. They come play a lot now. He asked to go to their house a few weeks ago. By himself... I know he should be able to walk or ride his bike a few houses down, but I don't want to let him. My mind goes all these places that make me hesitate, or walk with him. I know all parents feel like that when their kids do all these first independent things, but I feel like I go a step further. J doesn't know how to make a phone call, and if he did, he wouldn't be able to effectively hear me. People don't always understand his speech, and he doesn't have a good enough grasp of English for some one new to understand what he's trying to say. I know he'd probably be fine, but his communication delays, even still, give me pause. Maybe I'd feel differently if he was hearing, or if we had learned he was deaf sooner and he wasn't still trying to catch up. The other differences for a Hearing parent raising Deaf children are mostly to do with Hearing Aids, audiology appts, etc. Parents of hearing kids don't have to worry about babies chewing on their hearing aids, toddlers flushing them down the toilet, hearing aids getting wet in the rain, from sweat, an unexpected jump in the pool, etc. We see our audiologist more than some of our friends between the 3 kiddos' appts. :) The differences have been a whole new world opened to us. A new group of people I would have never gotten to know, which has led to some really good friends, and a best friend for me. Appreciation for a different perspective, a different history, a different reality. But, still... we're all the same, kids are kids. J likes to read, play outside, anything outside for that matter, loves reptiles and amphibians, loves his dog, asks his Dad to take him fishing, gets in trouble, jumps on his bed, and he happens to not hear very well. L loves dolls and pretend play, Rapunzel and Strawberry short cake, her favorite friend H, getting dressed and changing her clothes, giggling with her sister, playing outside, and she needs you to communicate visually because her ears don't work very well. R plays most with his animal toys and blocks, he likes to swing for a few minutes, but then wants down because he likes to move, he's sooo busy, if he can, he'll crawl up the stairs, dump dirst out of potted plants, empty the kitchen cabinets, chew on his hearing aids, etc, and his first words have been signs, because that comes more naturally to him because he can't hear speech. What are your kids like?

Sometimes, I get this nagging voice in my head that the reason those kids down the street don't come to play with J anymore is because he's different, he's Deaf. They were fine until their parents met J... Sometimes I want to make an announcement at the grocery store: "Stop staring at us; yes, my baby has hearing aids; don't tell me you're sorry; don't stop talking to my son after he starts talking and you don't understand his speech or see him signing, he asked you a question; we, they, are just like YOU!" Sometimes, it's really hard to get things done and sign at the same time, like when I'm carrying stuff and trying to have a conversation with L. Sometimes, I wish I could just be fluent in ASL today! Why didn't I learm this earlier when it was just a fun thing for a high school girl to learn?? Too bad I couldn't have seen the future! Sometimes, I think about my life 10 years ago, and that if you had told me I would have 4 children, and 3 would have significant hearing loss, I'd tell you you were nuts. Sometimes, I see a purpose for myself. The divide between Deaf and Hearing is way too wide sometimes. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed with gratitude, and how much I love my children, and my husband... all the time~

Can I just say again how thankful I am for our D/HH program? L has been going to school now twice a week wince Christmas, and she's doing wonderfully! I ask her every Tuesday and Thursday morning if she wants to go to school today; every time she responds by excitedly signing all of her teachers' names and that she's going to go play at school, and that she needs to get dressed, get in the car, and the car will go up the driveway and down the street(using the classifier for vehicles and her own sound effects!)! :) We learn more and more about other programs for Deaf children, especially those in public schools, and how much they lack, either in funds, personnel, or otherwise... People really still think that Deaf people and Deaf children won't progress as far as a Hearing person?? Or that ASL doesn't have merit as a real language?? I can't begin to tell you how inflamed that makes me... However, we have apparently lucked out, and we have a whole team of fabulous people who not only care about our children, but push them to excel everyday. Yay!!

Spring!

Whew, Spring is always such a busy time in our house. (Hence, my lack of blog posts - it's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

Lots of new experiences, and opportunities for new vocabulary/signs! A few of the highlights: U-pick strawberry farm, our chicks hatched, planting in the garden, many festivals and seasonal events ,...

R's new favorite thing is to crawl ALL over the yard and anywhere else we go. We're at that stage, 12-18 months old, of constant movement. By the end of Spring, he should definitely know "grass", "dirty", "bug", "stay here", and "bath"! Haha! :)

Sear these days into my memory!

L and I were reading some books last night in her bed. She was a little distracted until she moved a blanket and saw... her baby doll! She made her excited face. "Mommy, wook-it!" Then, she looked baby straight in the eyes, and signed and pointed out all the things on each page that she was looking at. Then, she asked baby if she wanted some milk (in ASL complete with facial expression as only a 3 year old can do), and lifted her shirt and put her baby to her little chest to "nurse"! After another page or two, she began showing baby more things from her book.

Boy, has she been paying attention! Haha!